Perspective

I have been thinking about the trials of life alot lately. We all have them. Some are private, some are public. Some are personal, some are shared. Some have an end in sight and unfortunately, some are ongoing...and going...and going. But we all have them. This life is hard! It's supposed to be that way.

It never ceases to amaze me how 1 day, 1 event, 1 phone call can change our lives. And with those changes, comes instant perspective. Perspective about what matters most in our lives, about what we came to this earth to accomplish. When trials hit, suddenly all those things I used to worry about seem so silly -what we are going to eat for dinner, what time I have to get kids to ballet, soccer, or whatever, what I am going to wear to the Gala on Friday night (that I don't even want to go to, but have to for work) - all of this suddenly seems so unimportant. It is funny, though, how I seem to save a lot of money during these times as my life changes from reactive to reflective. (I'm trying to look at the good side :) As hard as difficult times can be, I am so thankful for them. They have made me who I am and who I am supposed to become. They make be want to try harder and be better.

When I decided on my word for 2010 - proactive - I had no idea how much that would mean. I thought it meant trying to be better and do more, to avoid letting life pass me by as I merely "survived" as a Mother. I wanted to plan ahead, work hard, and do great things! I wanted to have better Family Home Evenings, birthdays, more meaningful conversations with my children, be their listening ear and their shelter from the storm. I wanted to be proactive as a Mom so my children could look back on wonderful memories of their childhood and never wonder if I loved them or if they were the center of my universe. They would know! I wanted to do more than survive the chaos and busyness of this time of life, I wanted to enjoy the journey. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. I didn't know that he would "help" me in my quest to be a better Mom, to be proactive. I didn't know that being proactive would mean fighting to protect and lead my children. I didn't know it would mean teaching them that all, and I mean all that matters in this life is our family and our relationship with the Lord. Without that, we are nothing. It is why we are here. We must learn that what other people think of us or our family is not important, that whatever trials we may face, that the way through them is through the Spirit and through our relationship with our Father in Heaven. He is the one that can get us to where we need to be. He is the solution to our problems. So that is my quest. I am taking proactive to the next level. I'm not sure how. But I am going to rise to the occasion and be what I need to be for my family, whatever that is. It is worth the time, it is worth the effort, it is the only way to happiness and I know this to be true.