Belated Birthday

Meet Chavo... This is the pinata that Josh's Spanish friends from work made him. Is that the sweetest thing? It just made me laugh when Josh texted me a picture of this seatbelted in his car with him. They had planned a party for him at work the day after his birthday but as you know, the day didn't turn out so well and Josh spent the night in the hospital. But they saved this little surprise for the following Saturday, along with cake and gifts. I'm so grateful that he works with good friends that make him feel loved. It sure brought a smile to my face!

Note: Apparently "Chavo" is a Spanish actor that they think Josh looks like.

21

21 reasons why I love this kid:

• Josh has a mischevious grin that always makes me smile. (And admittedly, drives me a little crazy sometime.)
• Josh is so laid back that it makes him so pleasant and easy to be around.
• Josh has a love of music that touches my life. Music has always been so important to me and him sharing that with me, makes it even more special. Some of the greatest gifts he has given me have been the "gift of music."
• Josh is a very spiritual person and seems to see the things that matter most in life.
• After falling down, Josh always gets back up - no matter how difficult. That is courage! He has had numerous trials in life that could cause him to give up but instead, he always gets up and tries again or tries harder. This makes me very proud! I think this single trait might be one of his most important because I know how hard life can be. If he continues this, I know he will be alright in the long run. We will all have trials in life and make mistakes. But it is those people who get back up, keep trying and learn from their mistakes, that will truly succeed in life.
• Josh is very caring of others. He has always been protective of me as his mother and is always worried about how I feel. It was also fun to see how much he cared about people in his mission. Although he was with them a short time, he still deeply cares for alot of those families. It's been especially fun to see him with this little, old man that was one of his investigators. He was so good to Josh and took him under his wing. It's so special to see Josh return that love and caring for this special man.
• Josh is alot of fun to be around! He loved to organize fun events with his friends and continues that with our family. He loves to be part of the action and being with his family. His sense of adventure often rubs off on the rest of us.
• Josh has developed quite a sense of humor and often brings a smile to my face with his funny comments.
• I love that Josh is a hard worker. Although it has not always been happily, Josh has always jumped in to get the work done and can work circles around most kids his age. I am so grateful that his Father taught him this trait because I know it will serve him well in his future.
• I love that Josh is so handsome - it makes a Mother proud. :)
• One thing that is special to me about Josh is his love for my Mother. Josh is probably the only one of my children that will remember much about Grandma. He took her death very hard. In fact, he started a "Grandma" box at the time to collect his memories of her. That was very special to me and has meant alot to know that her memory can live on through him
• I love Josh for his humility. He never thinks he's better than someone else and always has things about himself that he wants to improve on. Another great characteristic that will serve him wel..
• Josh's personality can draw you in. He is very charismatic and that makes you want to spend time with him.
• Josh is one of the most forgiving people I know and for that, I am truly grateful. I am so thankful to him for looking past my shortcomings and for loving me for who I am and who I am trying to be.
• Much to my chagrin, Josh is very independent. I don't think I realized how much so until the last couple of years. Sometimes it makes me sad because I am a control freak and love to "mother." But I now realize it is admirable that he wants to learn for himself. Independence gives him the freedom he needs to "fly." I just have to remember a quote that I love that says "you can have both roots and wings." I like that.
• I love that Josh is a natural leader. Although he doesn't always see it in himself, those of us around him can see his natural tendencies toward leadership and his ability to unite people. I am so proud of him for that.
• I love that Josh is a very loyal person.
• I love that Josh is so adaptable. He always has been. I think he had to be since he was our only child for almost 6 years. He just went along with us wherever we went and always handled it well. He pretty much just "goes with the flow," which makes him very easy to be around.
• One of the easiest parts of being Josh's Mom is that he is so easy to please. Josh is not a demanding person at all. He just appreciates what he has and rarely asks for more. Sure, there are things he likes, especially music and movies right now. There are also things he dreams about - mainly 4-wheelers and cars, but he doesn't ask for much. He's just grateful for the things he does have and for the opportunities that come his way. I think that's what life is about - finding joy in the blessings we have instead of always wanting something different or searching for more.
• Josh has always been good at building things. Even when he was little, he could put together complicated toys, like Legos. He loved to do that and it would keep him busy for hours. As he got bigger, I've noticed that he can take things apart, figure them out, and put them back together. He seems to enjoy it. As I thought about this, I realized that Josh often does this with his relationships as well. As he's matured, I think he has come to know the importance of relationships. It's fun to see him bond with others and to build his family relationships, too. I'm learning that Josh "sees" more than I ever realized he did. I think he likes to get to know people and learn what really makes them tick. I think that he likes to "figure out" people as well so that he can learn from them. He's been blessed with so many wonderful friends and leaders in his life! Hopefully he will use their good traits as his example to follow.
• My favorite thing about Josh right now is the calming effect he has on me. We have been through some very turbulent times in the past 3 years. It hasn't been pretty. But I will say, that when I can sit down and talk to Josh - actually talk- I get a glimpse of his spirit and it calms me. It sounds strange, but he has been able to do this since I was pregnant with him. He has always brought me a calmness. At this point in my life, when the world is scary and unpredicatble and times are hard, Josh often brings me the serenity I need. I pray every day that he can see his amazing spirit like I can. Because it is truly special!

It's hard to put 21 years worth of feelings and memories, worries and insecurities, joy and love, into words. I will save the details of all those thoughts swirling around in my head for my journal. But at this crossroads in Josh's life, I have to express gratitude - to the Lord for sending me 3 amazing gifts in my life to teach me the lessons only Motherhood could teach me; and to Josh, for sharing this journey with me, for being my "guinea pig," and for being patient with me as I wade through the challenges and lessons and the wonderful blessings of being a Mom.

I love you, Josh! I promise I will try to get better at letting go and give you wings to fly, but like I always tell you - you will always be my baby. :)

Finally 21!

Today my "baby" turns 21. I can't believe it!! I had heard that childhood goes by in a flash but I don't think you can fully comprehend it until you actually go through it. It didn't seem to go by quickly as I was going through the days of colic and daycare, then to dating and teenage worries. But looking back, it was but a moment. Hence my favorite new quote that I first heard in the last year: "The days are long but the years are short." How true! It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day worries and doing everything right, that sometimes we forget to capture the memory in the present. And to hold on to the feelings we have while we are having them and locking them in our heart to keep forever. Memories have flooded my mind of the day he was born- how I felt, what I thought, how scary it was. Sadly, I'm not sure I know much more today than I did back then. But I certainly appreciate the lessons more today than I ever could have back then.

Josh's 21st birthday was not what any of us expected. Josh was so sick today! He started feeling really sick yesterday so I took him to the Instacare so he could start feeling better by his birthday. Great plan, right? Well unfortunately, they gave us the "it's a virus" answer so we can't do anything but wait it out. So he took Ibuprofen 800 for the pain in his throat and kept trudging along. But by his birthday, he was only feeling worse! He had been at home all day so I talked him into letting us take him to dinner. I kind of made him go...I thought it would do him good to get him out of the house for some fresh air. Plus, it made me sad to think of him spending his birthday alone in my Grandma's basement- all day!

So he chose Olive Garden because pasta was the one thing he thought he might be able to swallow.

Grandpa M. joined us for the celebration. But I don't think it was much of a celebration for Josh. He didn't eat much at all and talked even less. He said it hurt too bad. :(

After dinner, he came over to unwrap presents. Uncle Jeremy brought him an ice cream cake. Josh usually loves those. In fact, he requested chocolate ice cream this year instead of cake.

But as you can see in this picture, Josh started feeling worse and worse.

(Josh and his uncle, and roommate- Jeremy)

Josh felt bad enough that he went home shortly after having cake and went to bed. Probably not the 21st birthday he had imagined. Luckily, he is a pretty good sport about these things.

But now to finish the story (Written 1 week later):

On Friday (the day after his birthday), Josh sounded so bad on the phone that I honestly could not understand what he was saying. You could just hear how swollen his throat was. I finally had to hang up on him and have him text me anything he needed to say because I could not understand a word he was trying to tell me.

So finally, after worrying about him all morning, I left work early and took him a frosty. You could visually see how swollen his tonsils were from the outside. I told him that I thought we better go to the doctor but he wanted to wait and just "keep an eye on it." I think it had something to do with the fact that his friend, Amy, was coming into town to visit him that night.

A couple of hours later, I got a text from Josh saying that he thinks we better go to the doctor soon. Being that Josh is so laid back, I figured it must be pretty bad. So I went to pick him up right away.

We first went to the Instacare. They originally thought he had mono but then after examining his neck, felt they better take a CT scan with contrast. So then we had to go to the hospital. Immediately following the CT scan, they told us he had 2 tonsillar abcesses and needed to be admitted right away. We spent 2-3 hours in the waiting room on IV steroids (trying to get his airways opened) and having his abcess drained. I know, gross!

We finally got to his room at about 1:30AM. Poor kid! Not a very fun week. Luckily, he only had to stay overnight and we took him home Saturday night. They IV's, antibiotics, and steroids did wonders. Unfortunately, after he gets feeling better, they will be removing his tonsils and he will probably be going through the same pain all over again. But with abcesses, the risk of infection going in the bloodstream is just too great.

So overall, it was a pretty eventful birthday...but definitely not a fun one! I could just kick myself for not getting a picture of him in the hospital, since it is his first (and hopefully last) overnight stay. I guess when you're having someone admitted to the hospital, you just don't think of capturing the "fun." But it would have been fun to look back on, I think. Since he felt so good after getting medication and having his good friends, Jon & Amy visit him in the hospital, I don't think it was too bad, as far as hospital visits go.

And since he was home from the hospital on Sunday, we were still able to have his birthday dinner of choice - Haystacks. His friend, Amy, came over for dinner, too. It was nice because it's been hit and miss with Josh, as far as Sunday dinner goes. His student ward meets much later than ours so it's difficult to coordinate schedules. Josh was even able to see Grandma and Grandpa O. today. They were nice enough to take Maddy home for the weekend while Josh was in the hospital. And then nice enough to bring her home on Sunday and visit Josh.

Josh is so blessed with wonderful friends and people in his life. And we are so blessed to have him in our lives! I am so grateful for him and the joy he has brought to my life. He has taught me alot of lessons as I have learned to be a parent, alongside him growing up. He has been so patient through my many mistakes and is luckily strong enough to endure all the "bumps" along the way, as we learn as we go. As I have always told him, he is truly our "pilot project." And he will always be my "baby." :)

Happy Birthday, Josh!

Jake turns 15

Jake is 15!!!

I really can't believe it! I look at pictures of him from just a couple of years ago and can't believe the change. He has grown up so fast. He is truly a young man now. We even had someone at Deseret Book ask if he was going on a mission. What? He's only 15 and he's starting to look that old. I know he will be at that age in the blink of an eye.

As you can see, Maddy and I snuck (is that a word?) into his bedroom while he was snowboarding and decorated his room. I thought that would be a fun tradition to start with the kids' birthdays this year and I think they enjoy it. It's always fun to have something that makes you feel a little extra special for that day. I love the smiley face that Maddy thought of putting on his wall.
It doesn't look like he got much for his birthday but with a season snowboarding pass, he was happy! He also got a helmet, PS3 game, shoes, and lots of hugs. :) His birthday was on a Sunday so he went snowboarding with his friends the day before. Other than his favorite dinner and playing PlayStation after church with Josh, it was a pretty quiet day.


Man, I love this kid!!

15 things I love about Jake:

I love his smile!! It's kind of that shy-type that sneaks in and it makes me smile.

I love his eyes - they can make me laugh out loud when he makes funny expressions with them. And they can melt my heart.

I love Jake's sense of humor. Somehow he always knows how to bring a smile to my face. (Even when I dont' want him to. HaHa. He is definitely a tease like his father and brother)

I love, love, LOVE to watch Jake play football. There is simply nothing like it! There is something so satisfying about watching your children do something they absolutely love... even if it scares you to death.

Jake is so much fun to be with. No matter what we are doing, if he's there, it is better. With his sense of humor, he makes everyone laugh.

I love that Jake puts his heart and soul into everything he does. Literally...everything! If he believes in it, he gives 110%.

I love that Jake loves Seminary. It just shows what a great kid he is and how he is spiritually-grounded. That makes a mother proud!

Jake is an awesome big brother! I can hardly think of Maddy without thinking of Jake. He is always so good to spend time with her playing games, making up dances, listening to music, etc. Maddy always loves to be by her big brother. Jake is also a good "little" brother. It has been fun to see Jake's friendship with Josh grow this year. I think they are now more than brothers, they are friends. They have alot of the same interests and it is so fun to watch them share those together.

I love that Jake gets straight A's and the sense of accomplishment that it gives him. I sometimes worry that he thinks he has to get straight A's for me to be proud of him. I always tell him that as long as he tries his hardest, that's all I care about. But once again, Jake goes above and beyond. I'm proud of him no matter what his grades are because he works hard!

Jake is such a caring person. He feels things very deeply and is sensitvie to other's feelings. I love that he tries to make people feel better about themselves and lifts them up. I think that is hard to find in a friend.

I love that Jake finished the Book of Mormon this year - what an accomplishment!! And every bit of it came from his own desire. Jake is so self-driven that way. I never have to push or prod. If he sets out to do something, it's as good as done.

I love that Jake is so sensitive and caring. Like with everything else in his life, he gives his whole heart and soul in his relationships. I think that is one of his most important traits that will always serve him well in his life.

Jake is a loyal. Once you become his friend, he will stick by you through anything and everything.

I love that Jake always wants to be better. No matter how high of grades he gets, he aims higher. Many times he has been close to a hundred percent in a class but he does extra credit to make sure he's over the top. How awesome is that! No matter how well he does in football, he always wants to be better. While I sometimes worry that Jake expects too much of himself, I know that this is a wonderful characteristic that will serve him well as he moves into adulthood. His sense of responsibility and drive to achieve perfection will always serve him well in all endeavors.

I love Jake for the strength he gives me. He has truly been a stabilizing force in my life over the past couple of years. He has been strong on days that I've really needed strength. He has brought me happiness and security in a time in my life that I didn't feel secure. The funny thing is, I dont' think Jake even realizes what he has done for me and meant to me. I am so thankful he is my son and can't imagine having to face life without him!


I love you so much, Jake! Thanks for all the goodness that you bring to my life.

I'm old...again!

The best thing about birthdays is...
Eating whatever you want (this is the best Mud Pie EVER! Made by Cold Stone Creamery for MacCool's) and...

Spending time with those you love...

The Birthday Bike

We finally got it!

Like I said in an earlier post, this bike was not in stock in time for Maddy's birthday. But we HAD to have this one. Now you see why... Is that the cutest bike you've ever seen?
And the cutest girl?
Maddy in action on her new bike...well worth the wait for that smile. :)

The bike is a 7-speed made by Giant by the real selling point for me was the lavender color. Plus, I LOVE those white wall tires!
And here is Jake on the purple bike. A little blurry but you get the point. I think Jake likes the bike as much as Maddy.
And this is Maddy's friend, Megan, that we copied. Aren't they cute "twinners?" When we saw her bike, we had to have it. The quality was so much better than anything else we had seen and since she was finally getting a "big girl" bike, we figured it was worth getting one that will last. Plus, I love those white wall tires! (I think I already mentioned that)

Such a cute bike for my "little" girl.

Maddy's Top Ten

In celebration of Maddy's 10th birthday, here are the top ten things (in no particular order) that I love about my Maddy:

1-Her smile! It truly lights up my day with those 2 dimples on 1 side. :)

2-I love having a daughter that I don't have to DRAG shopping with me, like her brothers. It's so fun to have someone that is a "natural" at it, by my side. We always have fun on our little shopping excursions. (I just hope I'm not creating a spoiled monster. ;)

3-I love Maddy's free spirit. I call her our little "flower child." She follows her heart and for that reason, she always seems happy. I wish I could be more like that instead of worrying about what others think.

4-I love Maddy's art! She is always drawing pictures and decorating our house (and cars and my office, etc.) with them. Seeing them always brings a smile to my face and reminds me to treasure this time.

5-One of my favorite things about Maddy is her sweetness. She genuinely cares about others and worries about their feelings.

6- I adore Maddy's hugs! I don't know what I would do without them. There are so many days that she has noticed me having a bad day and knew exactly what I needed - a hug! She is so affectionate to both me and her Daddy. I hope that lasts forever!

7-Another sweet blessing of having a little girl is being able to watch her dance. I always wished I was a ballerina and so it makes it even better to be able to watch Maddy in Ballet and know that she loves it. She absolutely loves performing and soaks in every speck of joy from her recitals. I want to be the type of Mom that allows her children to follow their hearts, not mine. But for the time being, I think Ballet is a part of Maddy's heart, as well as mine. So I'm enjoying every minute of sharing that experience with her.

8-Maddy is so talented. She started playing the piano at age 5 and is doing so well! This is another part of Maddy that I love. Although it is much to her brothers' dismay, I love it when she practices so I can hear her creative side ringing through.

9-Another one of my favorite things about my Maddy is her talent for writing. She leaves us notes all over the house and my office and it makes my day!! There is nothing that makes my heart swell more than slipping into bed and finding a cute note from my little girl or walking into my office and finding a picture that Maddy had left there for me. Sometimes it's an actual letter and sometimes she has written a poem. The most recent was a note she left me in my bathroom drawer telling me how much she would miss me while she was on the Daddy Daughter campout over night. I was homesick for her and finding that note was all I needed to put the spark back in my day. No matter what form her "messages" are in, they always make a positive impact on our days. That little girl should be a writer some day.

10- Maddy is often the "glue" that holds our family together. I absolutely love that she looks forward to Family Home Evening each week and is often actually the motivating force for us to have it. Although we some times hear grumbles from her brothers, they always seem to enjoy it after and alot of that is brought by Maddy's special spirit and enthusiasm. Maddy is also our family prayer reminderer (is that a word?) and loves to see her Mom and Dad show affection to each other. Even in her young age, she seems to already know what matters most!

Maddy- I love you with all of my heart and am so thankful that Heavenly Father sent you to me!

Double digits

This is my baby girl... And she is now in double digits! 10 years old- how did that happen?? It seems like only last year that I was bringing her home from the hospital and moving into the house we now live in. I remember every detail of her birth and my time in the hospital with her. I remember it as one of the most peaceful times of my life. My kids were all healthy and doing well. I had 2 awesome boys that were pretty much self-sufficient, my husband had a great job, a new house almost ready to move in to, and a beautiful baby girl. I remember thinking that I had finally made it! I had got through some pretty serious issues and we were now in a stable part of life, ready to raise our cute little family, and totally at peace. And now... we have somehow been through 9 additional summers, completed 5 years of school, and is certainly now a "tween." Breaks my heart that she is not still that baby I can hold in my arms and not let go. But I am so lucky because even though she is no longer a baby, she is still our baby. She is the sweetest thing and still lets us "baby" her, although I know it drives her crazy. I'm so happy she has kept her sweetness and the loveable spirit she was born with. Just as when she was born, she brings such a wonderful spirit into our home. 10 years ago, she truly changed our family.

This year, I thought it would be fun to start a new tradition on the kids' birthdays. I usually decorate if it is a party year but otherwise, I have just brought them a balloon bouquet. I figure even if we don't have a formal party at the house, why not decorate and make the day even a little more special, right? Well, my thought was to get up early the morning of her birthday before her and decorate her room. Unfortunately, she was so excited for her birthday that she was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7AM. So I had to ban her to watching cartoons for awhile (which wasn't too hard) while I worked a little magic in her bedroom transforming it into a party room. I had my 2 helpers (Dad and Jake) out blowing up balloons in the garage. I am horrible at blowing up balloons so I gave that little project to them. Jeff had the brilliant idea to use his air compressor in the garage so instead of only having like 5 or 6 balloons to decorate, she got alot! They did enough that I was even to bury her bed in balloons, so that was fun.

These are her presents, pre-opening. NOTE: Her main gift this year was a new bike, not shown above.

And these are her presents, post-opening. As you can see, still no bike shown. Sadly, the bike we chose had to be special ordered and was not in for her birthday. So we wrapped up a bike bell instead. This new bike is purple and SO cute, it will be well worth the wait. :)

After opening presents...We were off for a day of fun with family and friends at Lagoon.

Maddy's 2 friends, Lindsee and Olivia that live on our street were out of town. So she chose these 3 cute friends to share the day with her. Left to right, top to bottom: Brea, Megan, Paige, and Maddy. Man, did these girls have fun!

Dad and Jake came along for the rides, too. (And me but I'm the official photographer.)

Megan and Maddy

Paige and Brea

I can't tell you what a delight it was to be with these girls. There is nothing better than to hear the sound of a little girl giggling...other than 4 girls giggling. They had a such a riot and they all got along so well.

These girls were brave, too. They rode almost all the rides, even the big ones, even ones that Mom wouldn't ride. Of course, that's not saying much. :)

Here-they were on top of the world. Okay, just the ferris wheel but there are some fabulous views from up there.

And here was the only hiccup in the day. Jeff REALLY wanted Maddy to try a new ride. Maddy REALLY didn't want to. I'm not sure exactly how it happened but somehow they got her in line for the ride. Her friend Brea loves the Rocket and agreed to ride it with her. But it was a long 15 minutes waiting in line. I think her fears just got bigger and bigger as she had to wait. It broke my heart to see the worry in her little eyes. Her friends were sad, too. They thought it was weird that her Dad was making her do this. But it is a strange custom in his family to take the young kids and scary rides. Kind of crazy, I know.

It was nice to see this (above), aka. RELIEF, when she came back down. Although she still hates the ride, against all of her Father's hopes, I think that she was proud of herself for trying. We were certainly glad to get that over with! They made ME try it last year and I'm sure if there were pictures taken, I would have looked much worse.

This is the Fabulous 4 waiting in line to try out the new ride of the year, OdySea. As our luck goes, they shut the ride down for repairs right as it was almost our turn. Oh well! Plenty more fun on other rides.

This is Maddy and Brea on the Dinosaur Drop. It is the kiddee version of the Rocket. As you can see, it is much more Maddy's style. She's all smiles, which I love to see!

We had to ride the water ride to try and beat the heat.

As you can see, it worked. We all got soaked!

I couldn't resist snapping this picture of Maddy and her Daddy. SO sweet!

And this is Jeff and I with the 4 girls at the end of the day. It truly was such a pleasure celebrating Maddy with them. They were well-behaved, got along good, and made Maddy's day the perfect birthday.

After we dropped the girls off, Josh had got off work and Jake had finished football practice so we were able to grab a quick bite of Arby's and come back for more fun as a family.

While the boys rode the really scary rides, like Wicked, I took Maddy over to ride some kiddee rides she thought she would still love. As you can see from her expression above, they were not as exciting as she remembered them. The cars used to be her favorite but she was so huge in them now, whe wouldn't even let me take her picture. She couldn't stop laughing over that. I can't believe we're past the Puff the Magic Dragon roller coaster stage. She is really growing up.

And seeing this picture makes me laugh. I wish you can see the other 10 pictures that I took trying to get this one. I kept getting Jeff but couldn't see Maddy. The ride was moving so quickly it was hard to get anything but a blur. But in all the pictures you can see Jeff's green shirt and him making faces. Very funny! I'm glad I was able to get this cute one, though. It is the new OdySea ride that she had wanted to try out.

And at the end of the night, she got pictures with her brothers...

...and Mom and Dad.

What a wonderful day!

Happy Birthday, sweets! We love you~

Happy Birthday, Jeff!

This is my husband...

And this is why I love him...

See his eyes peeking through?

This guy knows how to make me laugh! This is the pose I got when I asked him for his birthday picture by his new compressor.

Since the first time I met him (over 20 years ago), I have loved him. He was everything that I was not - confident, funny, mischevious, unpredictable, and true to himself. (To this day, it is still hard to figure him out and know when he is serious or joking.) His personality immediately drew me in. He was different from anyone I had ever met. He knew what he wanted and always worked hard to get it. When I was with him, I couldn't help but have fun. His sense of adventure is contagious! He is the life of the party and can be so much fun to be around. He also has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. When I look in them, I see so much. I see a lifetime (or at least 20 years) of memories. I have watched Jeff grow throughout the years. I have laughed with him, cried with him, argued with him, played with him, and raised 3 beautiful children with him. We have certainly had our share of difficult trials over the years but through it all, he can still bring a smile to my face. So today I say, "Happy Birthday, Honey" and "I love you!" Keep the smiles coming! :)