Perspective

I have been thinking about the trials of life alot lately. We all have them. Some are private, some are public. Some are personal, some are shared. Some have an end in sight and unfortunately, some are ongoing...and going...and going. But we all have them. This life is hard! It's supposed to be that way.

It never ceases to amaze me how 1 day, 1 event, 1 phone call can change our lives. And with those changes, comes instant perspective. Perspective about what matters most in our lives, about what we came to this earth to accomplish. When trials hit, suddenly all those things I used to worry about seem so silly -what we are going to eat for dinner, what time I have to get kids to ballet, soccer, or whatever, what I am going to wear to the Gala on Friday night (that I don't even want to go to, but have to for work) - all of this suddenly seems so unimportant. It is funny, though, how I seem to save a lot of money during these times as my life changes from reactive to reflective. (I'm trying to look at the good side :) As hard as difficult times can be, I am so thankful for them. They have made me who I am and who I am supposed to become. They make be want to try harder and be better.

When I decided on my word for 2010 - proactive - I had no idea how much that would mean. I thought it meant trying to be better and do more, to avoid letting life pass me by as I merely "survived" as a Mother. I wanted to plan ahead, work hard, and do great things! I wanted to have better Family Home Evenings, birthdays, more meaningful conversations with my children, be their listening ear and their shelter from the storm. I wanted to be proactive as a Mom so my children could look back on wonderful memories of their childhood and never wonder if I loved them or if they were the center of my universe. They would know! I wanted to do more than survive the chaos and busyness of this time of life, I wanted to enjoy the journey. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. I didn't know that he would "help" me in my quest to be a better Mom, to be proactive. I didn't know that being proactive would mean fighting to protect and lead my children. I didn't know it would mean teaching them that all, and I mean all that matters in this life is our family and our relationship with the Lord. Without that, we are nothing. It is why we are here. We must learn that what other people think of us or our family is not important, that whatever trials we may face, that the way through them is through the Spirit and through our relationship with our Father in Heaven. He is the one that can get us to where we need to be. He is the solution to our problems. So that is my quest. I am taking proactive to the next level. I'm not sure how. But I am going to rise to the occasion and be what I need to be for my family, whatever that is. It is worth the time, it is worth the effort, it is the only way to happiness and I know this to be true.

Happy Birthday, Jeff!

This is my husband...

And this is why I love him...

See his eyes peeking through?

This guy knows how to make me laugh! This is the pose I got when I asked him for his birthday picture by his new compressor.

Since the first time I met him (over 20 years ago), I have loved him. He was everything that I was not - confident, funny, mischevious, unpredictable, and true to himself. (To this day, it is still hard to figure him out and know when he is serious or joking.) His personality immediately drew me in. He was different from anyone I had ever met. He knew what he wanted and always worked hard to get it. When I was with him, I couldn't help but have fun. His sense of adventure is contagious! He is the life of the party and can be so much fun to be around. He also has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. When I look in them, I see so much. I see a lifetime (or at least 20 years) of memories. I have watched Jeff grow throughout the years. I have laughed with him, cried with him, argued with him, played with him, and raised 3 beautiful children with him. We have certainly had our share of difficult trials over the years but through it all, he can still bring a smile to my face. So today I say, "Happy Birthday, Honey" and "I love you!" Keep the smiles coming! :)

Life is a journey

"You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers who soar to great heights. You won't lag behind because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best. Wherever you go you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't. Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch. You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump. And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done." -Dr. Seuss

Sometimes (in fact more often than not, in my life) our lives take unexpected turns. My life has once again, taken an unexpected turn. "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss has been my favorite book for as long as I can remember. I think it was written about me. You see, I am a planner. I like to have a plan. I like to think it through, plan it out and dream about it. But sometimes, I mess up and often ruin my own brilliant plans. So I have become especially good at planning for other people. I'm especially good about planning for my children. I have such high hopes and expectations for them. I know exactly what they need to do to have a happy life and be good people. I have thought about it, planned it out, and dreamed about it. I thought this is what a good mom does. But as I get older and my children get older, I am learning.

I am learning that they may have different dreams.

That they may have limititations that I forgot to include in my plan.

That they are not me.

I am learning that they are on their own journey. And that's okay.

As my children get older, I am learning that my role is no longer to lead them, but maybe just to walk gently beside them. And as much as I want to control their destiny so I can assure their happiness, this is not right. It's not about me anymore. As good as my intentions are, they need to walk their own path to find out what their happiness is. This is not an easy lesson to learn. I am doing homework every day. I want to shield my family from the harsh realities and sadness of this world. But if I do this, they will not be strengthened for the next trial that may come along when I cannot be there to protect. So I am trying to let go. I am trying to have faith-faith in them, faith in myself and faith in God. I am trying to let them find their own path to happiness and just loving them with every footstep. I have no problems with the loving part. It's the faith that scares me. But I continue to pray that I can love my children enough to let them go, to be themselves, to follow their own dreams.

Because life is a learning process, life is a journey...

Happy Easter!

I love this time of year - the warmer weather, the flowers blooming, and especially Easter, ESPECIALLY when it is on General Conference weekend! There is nothing quite like Conference, on a beautiful Spring day, to soothe your soul and heal your Spirit. Following are a few pictures of our Easter weekend:
This is my cute daughter tie-dying Easter eggs. Her and I had to do them alone this year while the boys got ready to go to the Priesthood session of Conference. She is the creative genius of our family so she was loving every minute of it!

As you can see by the concentration on her face...
I would say we did pretty good!

The smile says it all, doesn't it?

And then there was Easter morning. We tried something a little new this year. Instead of having to follow clues to find their baskets, or just having them on the kitchen table, the Easter Bunny left a string outside of their bedroom door. They had to follow their color of string through a maze throughout the house to find their basket. Kind of fun, nice for a change. But it was hard to capture the mayhem in pictures. But at least we caught the end result (and the smiles.)

And Maddy's homemade picture, posted to our cabinets, says it all:

"Peeping" Toms

We have "Peeping" Toms!

In the true spirit of Easter and in an effort to teach my children the joy of service, I resorted to a bit of bribery. My kids love the Easter candy Peeps. So after our Resurrection Easter Egg Hunt for Family Home Evening, I announced that there would be "Peeping Toms" left around the house whenever I saw them doing an act of kindness or service. It was fun to see the kids get into this. Jake even offered to feed Maddy, literally feed her with a fork, to earn a Peep. Although he was joking, it was fun to watch them as they thought of different ways they could offer service to each other and our family.

I hope that in the wonderful season of spring and hope, that we can all look at ways to serve those around us and to truly live more like Him.

Mis.sion.ar.y [mish-uh-ner-ee] - Someone who leaves their own family for a time so others may be with theirs for eternity.

I have been thinking alot about missionaries this week. I have such respect for anyone who is willing to leave their homes, their families, and all that they know to go and serve their God. I respect someone that believes in something enough to sacrifice so much. I don't know if I could have the same courage. I appreciate the example of service and sacrifice they are to me. I know they will be blessed. This week, I would like to thank "my" missionary for his work and his service. Always remember that the Lord is proud of your desire and willingness to serve a mission. We are so proud of your efforts, Elder Oyler, and thank you for the blessings your mission has brought to our family. We love you!

From Trials, Come Blessings

"Life is full of problems. Opposition is not only unavoidable, it's essential. Without opposition, without problems big and small to test our resolve and stimulate our thinking, we would accomplish very little. Muscles do not grow without resistance and neither do people."

-Music & The Spoken Word